How to confront an infidelity discovered at a bad time?
How to confront an infidelity discovered at a bad time?
How do you confront someone with an infidelity when they’re going through a bad time in their life?
For example, you just discovered your spouse was unfaithful but :
• your spouse just found out he/she is sick
• your spouse has a death in the family
• your spouse just lost their job
• There is a family illness
Would you confront right away and add salt to the wounds, after all they’re the ones that messed up? Or if you wait, how long do you wait?
Best answer:
Answer by D W
Don’t wait and feel sorry for the spouse, get it out there NOW.
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I would not hesitate one minute to confront him!!! He did not hesitate to cheat on you! He certainly did not ask himself if it was a good or bad time for you to be cheated on!!
Hmm that’s a toughy because depending on how big their issue is they might try and down play the infidelity…How do you feel about the infidelity? If I were extremely upset and didn’t think there was any point to the marriage anymore I would stick to my guns, confront him head on and go out guns blazing. If I knew that despite the infidelity I wanted to work things out and perhaps seek counseling to salvage our relationship I might wait for a better time and then bring it up. It really depends on what you want to do with this information.
They are adding salt in their own wounds if they cheated. I would just be sure of the facts before you do confront. Do not accuse them if your not already sure.
Wait a second; going through a rough spot does not excuse that type of behavior. You confront them the same way if their life were normal/good.
The best time to confront a cheater is as soon as possible. They don’t deserve special consideration. The betrayal and the heartache they caused is more important than anything else that’s happening in their life. There’s no reason why you should bare the burden just to make it easier on them.
I don’t think any time is a good time. They tell you to punish your child when you find out what he did wrong, so this holds true with anything else. You confront when found out and it is one more thing for them to deal with. After all you are probably going through these bad times with him and having to deal with the infidelity.
infidelity is so much worse than any of the above - confront? no, LEAVE
There is no good or better time to confront him. It would be better to get it over with if you are unsure. Question: Are you sure about it and need confirmation from him, or is there a suspicion and you need to be reassured that there isn’t? Either way, there still isn’t a better time. It’s not a subject that waits for a “good time”. The people doing the infidelity never choose a good time for their spouses feelings, do they? Sad
Actually it depends.
If they just found out they or a family member had life threatening illness– like stage 4 cancer or something really serious then I would wait a while. Or if the parent that they were close to just died I would wait. Because it is something that bad then you can show some compassion. Compassion is not something that you give because it is deserved. It is given because you are caring person.
Jobs come and go. And if it is a relatively minor illness then people get better. I wouldn’t wait to confront in those situations.